


Something Stupid

by dizzy



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-24
Updated: 2003-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3071174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>songfic - a series of drabbles, 10 to be exact. <a href="http://www.songlyrics.co.nz/lyrics/r/robbiewilliams/somethingstupid.htm">Something Stupid</a> lyrics. I love the song - especially the Robbie Williams/Nicole Kidman version. Something I wrote a while back and just never posted. And bigbigbig thanks to Kia for the beta :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Something Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> songfic - a series of drabbles, 10 to be exact. [Something Stupid](http://www.songlyrics.co.nz/lyrics/r/robbiewilliams/somethingstupid.htm) lyrics. I love the song - especially the Robbie Williams/Nicole Kidman version. Something I wrote a while back and just never posted. And bigbigbig thanks to Kia for the beta :)

_i. I know I stand in line until you think you have time to spend an evening with me_

"Busy tonight?"

His fingers tighten around the red and silver can, feeling it give and fold inwards.

Dom doesn't look up. "Maybe. Orli mentioned something... new club... you know."

Billy nods, like he does. Know.

A flash, a heartbeat, and Dom's looking at him, then away. "Not sure. I might go. Just depends."

Billy feels like his legs might collapse underneath him, crumple like the can he's holding. He’s crushed the can. Dom’s crushed him.

Billy drops the can into the garbage. "Right. Well. I'll be off. Ring me, if you get bored."

Dom nods. He doesn't look up again.

 

_ii. And if we go some place to dance I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me_

Billy meets him at the bar. Orlando made other plans. Dom's restless.

Elijah’s too young. Sean is too... married. Billy is second best.

They sit and drink, not talking. They do that very well these days, the not talking. Why talk when you can look and think and wonder?

Billy wonders what Dom is wondering.

Dom wonders if Billy will ever stop wondering. Dom wonders what makes him so different from Billy. He wonders if part of him isn't so different at all.

Then Dom dances.

Billy watches and wonders.

Billy’s wondering what will happen when Dom's tired of dancing.

 

 

 _iii._ Then afterwards we drive into a quiet little place and have a drink or two

Dom's a bit tipsy, Billy notices.

Dom's laughing about something. A sweet, boyish laugh, straight from his heart. An uncomplicated laugh. "Billy... Billy..." Dom's hand is on his arm.

The windows are down and a breeze is blowing through. Dom's hand moves again, never still, fooling with the radio controls, drumming against the steering wheel. "What are you thinking?" Dom twists his neckto look at Billy, Billy with the ever-pensive expression and the faerie-land eyes that always make Dom think twice about what he's doing.

"Nothing."

Billy's voice threads through his mind. Dom wants things uncomplicated. Billy is anything but.

 

_iv. And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you_

"Tell me."

Billy shakes his head.

Dom leans in, leans close enough for Billy to taste the liquor on his breath. There’s no gap to be closed, Dom sees to that. And then Billy can taste it, can feel it all over him, seeping into his blood and leaving him warm in places he shouldn't be and cold in places where he doesn't want to be.

"I care. Aren't I allowed?"

Billy shakes his head again.

It's as natural as breathing, and just as necessary. Words that kill them both.

Dom freezes, backs away.

That’s Billy, always breaking the rules.

 

_v. I can see it in your eyes you still despise the same old lies you heard the night before_

Billy doesn't know if Dom doesn't believe in love, or just doesn't want to.

He knows that Dom feels. He knows what Dom feels. Dom is a master of passion, of caring, of sensitivity, of intensity. Dom is affectionate and selfless and generous. He can love.

As long as he thinks that no one notices.

Billy wants to know this about Dom. He thinks maybe things would be easier then. Maybe things would make sense. His life is in turmoil, and doesn't he deserve to know why?

Why does Dom insist on breaking his heart every time he says it.

 

_vi. And though it's just a line to you for me it's true I've never seemed so right before_

Dom draws the lines, and Billy tries his best not to cross them.

But it's hard, putting distance between them when they're never apart. He wants to be part of an 'us'. He wants Dom to want. To want more than a warm body next to him in the dark.

Billy can be Dom's best friend.

Billy can be the guy that's Dom's fucking.

But Dom won't let him be both at the same time.

Billy plots and schemes and dreams ways to get around the rules. But every time he thinks he's getting close, Dom takes another step backwards.

 

_vii. I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true_

He thinks about giving Dom an ultimatum. Love me, or leave me. But he's got that sinking feeling inside, the one that tells him what Dom would choose, and it's the only thing that could make Billy even more miserable than he is right now.

They both have problems. Billy falls too hard. Dom doesn't fall at all.

Billy doesn't know which one of them is worse off.

Words don't work. Words scare Dom. It's just that way. If Billy wants Dom to know, then Billy has to show him. He tries. He's just not quite sure if Dom understands.

 

_viii. But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you_

"Dinner?"

Doubt flashed behind his eyes.

"Please."

Dom was feeling generous, or weak, Billy's not quite sure. But he's here and that's what counts.

They laugh. They talk. They cuddle, they whisper and tussle like boys. They're having fun. They're enjoying each other. Dom is relaxed, and Billy's on a high from seeing him like this.

Billy's hand finds Dom. Touching, stroking his cheek, kissing the corner of his mouth. Dom is smiling. He wants it. Billy feels confident.

"You're wonderful." Dom says, and it feels like an admission of some sorts. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

 

 

_ix. The time is right your perfume fills my head the stars get red although the night's so blue_

Blue. Blue like Dom's eyes. Blue like... blue. And red. Red tongue, pinkish-red. Laughter. Bright. Billy can't see anything except this little corner of the world where he and Dom are existing, separate from everyone else. This is what he wants. Forever. He doesn't want to share. He doesn't want to let it go.

And Dom's whispering, "Billy, Billy, you're beautiful, you're mine," And it feels like the world is on fire. This is the part that Billy doesn't mind about falling. This is when it's soft and he can't remember what the crashing feels like.

The time is right.

 

_x. And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you_

The words drift from his mouth and it almost surprises him.

Not as much as it surprises Dom.

Waiting. Drifting. Floating somewhere between knowing and not knowing.

Dom doesn't leave immediately. Billy takes this as a good sign.

Not as good a sign as he had hoped for. But better than what he expected.

But the lightness is gone and there's tension and suddenly he can see Dom getting nervous, ruffled, like a cat and when he pounces, it will be for the door, for a quick escape.

Billy sighs and wonders when he'll stop trying.

He knows, probably never.


End file.
